Bees Knees

About a week ago I went out to the back 40(feet) to feed Max and found a giant growth on the side of our carport. It was yellow and black and buzzing. Bee-Hive! (everybody dance, now). Yes, we have been chosen as this years residence for her royal highness, the Queen of Ourbackyardneehive, and her entourage of thousands.

At first I was freaked out. Then I was like, they're just bees! What can they do? Oh yeah, they sting and stuff. But they also do cool stuff too! Like, pollinate flowers, make honey, scare intruders(who disturb their hive), hang off your face like a beard. Bees are the coolest!

Unfortunately I have to walk past the bees to feed Max. I'm, like, risking my life for that dog. Here's the video of my ingenuous bee-abatement system.



I will post some pictures later.

Zombies!! Well, just one anyway...

This was a video that John Lanier and I did way back in 82. No, actually it was in 2004?? It's seriously one of the most finished videos we ever did...even though there are no titles...and it doesn't really make any sense. Oh well.

The black screen at the beginning is not a mistake. That's where the titles are supposed to go - someday.

Picture Day With Maxie Baby

Sara and I decided we would take a picture together with our dog Max. Well, really the dog belongs to Jacob Lanier - we inherited the big black slobber fling-er when they moved (deserted us) to Missouri.

Anyway, Jacob misses "Maxie Baby" so we (Sara) thought a picture of the three of us together would be a cute present for his birthday. The cats would have been a nice addition too but that would have been a...ahem, catastrophe. Wow I actually used it in a sentence. The pictures, though, were not going good. Max was never in the right place when the camera timer went off. I think it was a conspiracy on the Drooling-one's part to get more "family" time.

After many failures we were completely soaked and decided to make a quick video clip and hope for the best. I think the clip speaks for itself. Yes, it does appear that I push Sara into the leaves - which I did not. Also, I did not "fake fall" as CNN and Fox News reported. My center of gravity was just slighty over enough in the wrong way to cause a slow descent into the leaf pile.

Happy Birthday Jacob!!

Devil Pants!

Here's my latest stab at being creatively funny. Enjoy.

Shoutout Video

Just a quick shout out to all my internet homies. Yeah boyee this video is off tha hook! Wicked tight!! Straight up wicked tight off the hook def bomb track. That is what I am talking about.

I love how Monkey's head gets lost in the Strong Bad cap. He starts moving his arms around to get out of it but instead looks like he's "Ah yeah!"-ing to the music.

in ter net

P.S. I am taking offers for someone to pay me handsomely to make an idiot of myself. Highest bid wins. Seriously. I could be the spokesperson for your company! Nothing sells product quite like a handsome man making the peoples laugh. Sure you can be clever but when your commercial makes dinner-time milk shoot out of the noses of your customers you know who they will remember. It's American - like voting and taxes.

Place your bids now.

John-Boat is another year older

Ok, John Lanier is like the coolest guy I know. Everybody that meets him thinks so. Well, today is his birthday so I thought I'd write him a song. And then I made a video of the song. That's how these things are done.

Happy birthday John-Boat, we miss you.

Lyrics(sing-a-long!):

John Lanier
Today is your birthday
John Lanier
Today you're another year, older

And its so nice to know
That you're still here,
even though you're in Semo Missouri

John Lanier
We miss you buddy oh yes we do
but it's still your birthday, happy birthday, oh yeah
Today you must be like 85 years old or something
I don't know maybe you're 25 or 26 or 27

John Lanier
Your Birthday is, here John Lanier
(We're so proud of you guy way to go!)
You made it through another year
John Lanier.

I think you're pretty cool man
I think you're probably the coolest guy I ever known, yeah
So why you in Missouri right now?
That makes me not as cool as you

I know Semo Missouri is a place but it's not on a map
Cuz' there's no place called Semo in real life
It's something you made up.

Monkey Monkey Monkey!

Ok, everyone says that I am obsessed with my cat Khalil, aka Monkey. That's crazy talk. Here's Monkey wearing a little sweathirt-hoodie I made for him. There's even holes for his ears and front legs!! What a studly little stud.